Taylor Swift raided your grandmother’s closet and went to the beach

I really hope this style doesn't take off.

[From i don't like you in that way]

Working through some BaN blog issues

Here’s some maple sugar. I saw Jigga perform this joint in Calgary last week.

Top 10 favourite and least favourite songs from the Summer of 2009

As the internet continues its slow decay into a bottomless pit of Top 10 lists, I thought I’d do my part and offer up my Top 10 favourite and least favourite jams from the summer of 2009. I’ve probably forgotten a few on both sides, but beer will do that to a mental playlist. Anyway, summer’s over, so here we go.

*** Top 10 favourites from the Summer of 2009 ***

Gone, Gone, Gone, Joel Plaskett, Three
Probably my favourite track off Plaskett’s latest album, it’s got great harmonies and piano and slide guitar accompaniment. I saw him play twice this summer, but this tune never made his playlist. Pity.

Swimming in the Flood, Passion Pit, Manners
I heard fragments of this album all spring and it seemed too electro pop for my taste, but I fell for this track and it’s crescendo the first time I heard it all the way through.

Flashover, Howie Beck, How to Fall Down in Public
This song’s got a familiar, almost haunting sound. It’s a dangerous song to play while you’re getting ready to go out because you’ll be tempted to sit and listen to it all night.

New Goodbye, Hey Rosetta!, Into Your Lungs
Like a lot of people, I heard this band for the first time when I was exploring the finalists for this year’s Polaris Prize, and this song stuck. It’s nice to see there’s more to Newfoundland’s music scene than shitty Great Big Sea.

House of Flying Daggers, Raekwon feat. Ghostface Killah, GZA, Method Man & Inspectah Deck
Even though it appears on Raekwon’s album, this is basically a new Wu-Tang joint. Sure it’s missing living members like RZA and Cappadonna, but they’ve got quorum. Plus, it’s produced by J-Dilla, which means it’s certified fresh (although not really, since he died a few years ago of Lupus).

Zero, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, It’s Blitz!
I’ve always said Metric is the poor man’s Yeah Yeah Yeahs and this song reaffirmed that belief for me all summer long – especially with Emily Haines and the boys’ latest re-hashing of Live it Out clogging the airwaves.

Quiet Dog, Mos Def, The Ecstatic
This whole album is dope, but Quiet Dog is the sonic espresso I turn to when the Nabob doesn’t cut it.

My Hands, Jon-Rae Fletcher, Oh Maria
“Well I could kick the shit out of any motherfucker who crosses that line.” Sung over an oompah-band trombone. Gives me a music boner every time.

Death of Autotune, Jay Z, The Blueprint 3
I don’t know if it’s because I was jonesing for new Jay-Z, or because this track reminds me of “Takeover” off the Blueprint I, but I dug this all summer. I’m sick of it now, though.

Execution, Pink Mountaintops, Outside Love
A pretty song with an ugly name, this is another wicked band I discovered while going through the Polaris Prize list. A side project of Black Mountain, this album is full of music, but sometimes sounds like it was recorded with just a couple of mics. Great for when you’re feeling like a low if hipster.

*** Worst music from the Summer of 2009 ***

Hippy Drum Circles
I have hippies for neighbours and I live near a park that’s frequented by hippies and there’s never a fire hose around when you need one.

Birds Outside My Bedroom Window
It rained a lot last year, so I guess these birds didn’t hang around my place as much, but they’ve been out in force this summer, waking me up way too early most days. However, I’m told birds are descended from dinosaurs, so I don’t go near the motherfuckers.

All You Did Was Save My Life, Our Lady Peace, Burn, Burn
Oh man, I hate OLP. This song is the musical equivalent of head lice.

Run This Town, Jay-Z feat. Rihanna & Kanye West
Jay-Z’s one of my favourites of all time, but I hate it when he phones in the glue between cameo appearances on tracks like this. I also really don’t like Rihanna’s voice.

Help I’m Alive, Metric, Fantasies
I know people lover her, but to me, Emily Haines is a heroine addiction away from being Courtney Love. Her voice is nicer, but this band’s basically been re-recording the same song over and over again for years – kind of like what Nickelback does.

I’ll Go Crazy if I Don’t Go Crazy Tonight, U2, No Line on the Horizon
“Every generation has the chance to change the world, pity the nation who won’t listen to your boys and girls.” PUKE. It didn’t help that this song was a BlackBerry ad all summer. If idealist ’80s Bono could see today’s cellphone shilling Bono, he’d kick himself in the dick.

I Gotta Feeling, Black Eyed Peas, The E.N.D.
Holy shit, this song is like H1N1. It’s absolutely everywhere and there’s you can do to stop it. Almost makes me wish that Fergie’s late ’90s meth addiction had stuck.

I’m on a Boat, The Lonely Island, Incedibad
This hip hop parody featuring Andy Samberg and T-Pain was hilarious at first, and then the douchebags took it over and ruined if for everybody just like they did with Happy Gilmore and beers after work.

Live Your Life, T.I. feat. Rihanna
This song’s almost a year old, but it was featured in the hit movie, The Hangover, which I guess was enough for people to dig back out of their iTunes catalogs and blast it all summer. By the way, Rihanna is basically impersonating Cher’ Believe on this track.

Right Round, Flo Rida
If I was ’80s one hit wonders Dead or Alive, I would sue Flo Rida with defamation of character for what he did to this song. Dude makes Diddy look like Phil Spector (’60s genius Phil Spector, not homicidal maniac Phil Spector.)

Review: Joel Plaskett at the Wild Horse Saloon in Calgary

Joel Plaskett put on a clinic in rocking asses off at the Wild Horse Saloon in Calgary last night. It was great show, especially since it wasn’t even supposed to happen. Plaskett was a last minute fill-in at the downtown Stampede bar tent after Technotronic cancelled late last week.

I can’t really blame Technotronic. You see, here in Calgary we’re in the middle of Stampede. a western celebration of over-sized livestock. Many Calgarians try to duck and cover during this rodeo week, myself included, lest ye be made sick by free pancake breakfasts and overpriced Kokanee ($7.75/can, WTF?!). But this show was a welcome change from the regular cow molestation and ripoffery that happens at the main Stampede grounds.

Here some highlights

+ Plaskett was a good sport. Drunk cowboy wannabes and oil executive douchebags are not his usual audience, but he seemed to take the cowboy hats and tacky rodeo shirts in stride.

+ He did not participate. There were no cowboy hats, boots or any other western accoutrements on stage. Other artists might have donned the duds, but not the good ones.

+ Plaskett was joined by the Emergency, the electric outfit that backed him on his first few albums. They covered a lot of the same material that Plaskett brought to town a month ago during a more sedate acoustic tour (which was also awesome) for his latest album, 3. It was great to hear a lot of those songs played loud and fast.

+ Though completely predictable, the set list was a perfect tour of Plaskett’s discography. “True Patriot Love” and “Nowhere With You” remain perennial crowd favourites, while new tracks like “Through and Through and Through” are on their way.

+ Mid show, someone tossed him a cowboy hat. He tried it on for sec and quickly tossed it away like it was made of bat turd.

+ Ending the show with “Fashionable People” injected a dose of irony that I don’t think most of the cowboy hats and bolo ties got.

Low lights

+ Alternating between beer and vodkar tonics was not a good idea. This morning I felt like I was bitten by a vampire.

+ “Sailor’s Eyes”. It’s a song off his latest album and I don’t like it.

+ Country western hip hop dance party. Once the show ended, the country music started and instead of going home like smart music fans, we hung out and pretended like we were listening to Tribe Called Quest.

+ Face planting while attempting a freeze during an ill-planned breakdance throw down. I don’t know whether to blame the beer or the vodkar But it’s like I say. if you don’t wake up with some sort of mystery pain, you’re doing something wrong.

Here’s a Joel Plaskett video for a great song off his latest album:

Obituary: iPod 30GB (White)

The funeral for iPod 30GB was attended by (from left) Hula Girl, Mini Hakeem Olajuwon, Galactic Starfighter, Sexy Lighter, Baron von Tofu and Sir Francis Bacon.

It is with great regret and sorrow that Beer&News announces the passing of iPod 30GB (White). iPod 30GB, as it was known to friends, served B&N diligently for almost 3 years before it was found dead in its owner’s car.

An autopsy determined that iPod 30GB was probably left playing on shuffle all day for, like, the 20th time this year. Although it could have also been all those times it was dropped on hard surfaces. Apple.com/ipod FAQs confirm that such abusive treatment of an iPod 30GB will drain its battery or damage its hard drive and result in a premature death – unless Apple Care is purchased to cover the cost of repair. Sadly, it was not, because it’s a total rip.

iPod 30GB lived through more abuse and questionable taste in music than most home electronics should. The Kelly Clarkson years were extremely hard on iPod 30GB and were only compounded by its owner’s brief obsessions with the Love Actually soundtrack, Maroon 5, select Dave Matthews hits and most recently, Fergie.

It will be remembered fondly for its reliability, scratched glass and chrome surfaces and enormous memory which sadly, was never fully filled. iPod 30GB is survived by a crappy iPod shuffle and a Mini Disc player that works sometimes, but not usually.

A small ceremony was held yesterday and was attended by the owner’s other toys after which the remains were placed in the junk drawer to be recycled once recycling iPods is easier to do. Well wishers are urged to send donations to the iPod 30GB Replacement Fund via a PayPal account to be identified shortly.