Bollywood rips off “Thriller”. There are no words.

I’d hate to see what my computer would do to me if it ever got the chance

So, the machines have had enough and they’re starting to fight back. A maintenance worker at a plant in Sweden was recently attacked and almost killed when a rock lifting robot grabbed him by the head and gave him the business.

Fuck. Who ever thought we’d see the day when trenchcoat-wearing-Matrix-wannabe motherfuckers are walking around saying, “thass wassup”. The world used to seem so clear. Now it looks like scrolling green letters on a screen.

But maybe the factory worker had it coming. Maybe he pushed the wrong buttons or groped the wrong lever one too many times. I’ve always thought the Swedes had a fetish with inanimate objects, the way they make us wrestle with their crappy furniture as we put it together. If I was my coffee table, I’d feel violated too.

Anyway, Beer&News is stocking up on Bluepills all the same.

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-04-27

• sorry to miss leonard cohen, but $300 was too much. that’s like 2 nice pairs of ice creams. #
• ho leeeeeeee shiiiit. ‘notorious’ sucks. #
• can’t believe it’s snowing again #
• @ruthlesstravels weakerthans rocked. i predict an eastern migration is a real possibility given the lack of equivalent local talent here. in reply to ruthlesstravels #
• weakerthans were kickass. gut rot from shitty U of C beer sucks #
• @ruthlesstravels one great town. Woooooooohoooooooo #
• Constantines just finished. Great. Waiting in line for beer. Weakerthans next #
• @alexflint thanks for the updates. Waiting for weakerthans to start. #
• pre-constantines/weakerthans scotch party. wishing the show wasn’t at mac hall #
• is Jaime Lee Curtis doing commercials for yogurt? And is the KFC prez from the south? or hungary? i need a pvr #
• wishing I had eaten those chicken wings last night instead of passing out on the couch watching tupac videos. wonder if they’re still good #
• @selina_jezebel one more beer or a less worse hangover? Good question #
• When the question is “another shot of jag?” For better or worse the answer is “oui” #
• @ruthlesstravels what’s the difference between the two, besides phat beats? #
• @freeMurphy totally. whiskey’s the best. and all this online media stuff’s OK too. in reply to freeMurphy #
• Going home to climb into a bottle of whiskey. Then over to Kensington. Hopefully no fights with lamposts. #
• @ruthlesstravels i wish. whiskey’s tonight, weakerthans tomorrow. considering over-priced craigslist tick to LC for Sunday. in reply to ruthlesstravels #
• getting ready for whiskey, constantines/weakerthans, possibly leonard cohen #
• @Romina_L it’s called Switch Bitch. Awesome , funny collection short stories. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Switch_Bitch in reply to Romina_L #
• RT @calgaryherald: Funding for Fubar sequel announced http://www.calgaryherald.com/entertainment/1531317/story.html #
• reading some Roald Dahl fiction that should not be allowed anywhere near a school library, unless we’re talking about a porn school. #
• thinking of a master plan for 2night. nothing firm, but old school hip hop will be there. Tribe, Wu, EPMD have RSVPd. Del, PE where you at? #
• @somethingwitty where’s the rave? in reply to somethingwitty #
• watching Belinda Stronach on CBC. Fighting malaria never looked so sexy. #
• I hear these guys are touring this summer and I just can’t wait: Man, the Jayhawks used to have a song on .. http://tinyurl.com/dlcv8u #
• @faliceemo whirl sucks. trying to be like msn messenger or something in reply to faliceemo #
• @ruthlesstravels 5 days w/o smokes. entering the toughest part of the week. chip bags are for ladies. Irock old dutch chip boxes. in reply to ruthlesstravels #
• ribs, beers, japandroids, avoiding cigarettes #
• was not going to go drinking, but now is. #
• looking for leonard cohen ticket(s). anyone selling? #yyc #calgary #
• doesn’t like where this is going and doubts there’s a soft landing at the end of it. #
• @wired #geocities animated torch gifs. as long as that includes animated Valkyries as well in reply to wired #
• beer&news So long Bud the Spud. Thanks for the fries.:
  Beer&News was sad to learn that one of our .. http://tinyurl.com/cyanzj #
• @Rebelle1 steph wouldn’t say that. i know where the skeletons are buried in her history of footwear. in reply to Rebelle1 #
• @Rebelle1 that doesn’t make any sense. did you fall on your head again? in reply to Rebelle1 #
• @Rebelle1 @ruthlesstravels in that case you don’t need to purchase anything. just wrap yourself in an old potato sack. #
• @somethingwitty i remember when they used to be called tennis skirts in reply to somethingwitty #
• witnessed two alpha-male hipsters trying to out-hip each other in line for coffee. the one with the skinny jeans and extra scarf prevailed. #
• glad to be back on regular shift. pissed about all the snow and frost on his hoopty. #
• @chuckchiang3 i hope you get bit by a shark. in reply to chuckchiang3 #
• jeepers cripes! wtfiwtff?! #
• Get the frak off my TV, Great Big Sea. The bell tolls for thee! #
• covering the flames game online. wishing i was watching it with a beer on bar. #
• beer&news When the choice is booze or no booze, Canadian drinkers choose booze: StatsCan: Recent Statis.. http://tinyurl.com/co9sj7 #
• beer&news Killer Earth Day trivia: Today, as we pause to show our appreciation for the planet by preten.. http://tinyurl.com/dlj77x #
• off work, trying to find something to do besides sleep, but the shitty weather and hippies aren’t helping. #
• @seenandsaid @alexblonski I’m more of a sour cousin. in reply to seenandsaid #
• thinking of flying to yellowknife because it’s so cheap. or maybe palm springs http://tinyurl.com/b8zjxq #
• @seenandsaid oh, you need to bring in your own mug for free starbucks. in reply to seenandsaid #
• @seenandsaid starbucks today, mcdonalds tomorrow. just look for the sheep and follow the heard. in reply to seenandsaid #
• wondering why everyone is losing their shit over a free cup of coffee from a company they’ll spend the rest of the year complaining about. #
• @chuckchiang3 since you’re online, why not finish our morning update. thanks pal! in reply to chuckchiang3 #
• @ReaFaceToFace sounds good. have to stop at home first and pick up my baby seal skin boxing gloves first. in reply to ReaFaceToFace #
• 25 degrees and sunny one day. -2 and threat of snow the next. Me and Earth are fighting. Or is it mother nature’s fault? #
• “hey, dirty. baby I got your money, don’t you worry. I say hey, baby I got your money” http://www.canada.com/news/1520195/story.html #
• thinks david byrne is a very patient man for putting up with Strombo’s interviewing-for-dummies technique. why is this on at 530am? #
• Fringe? Fringe #
• afraid quiche night is ruined thanks to bad feta and spinach. scrambled eggs night it is. stupid feta. #
• @ruthlesstravels it sucks. i’m glad it’s temporary. in reply to ruthlesstravels #
• accidentally spent entire afternoon off asleep on the couch. crap. #
• @seenandsaid something amiss? in reply to seenandsaid #
• thinking about booking a trip to kah-leee-four-nyah. whiskey whiskey, san francisky? #
• is impressed by the subtlety of westjet’s new online ad campaign. still, good deals. #
• Kings of Leon coming to Calgary. My concert budget is going to need a bailout. #
• Depeche Mode and Tool to headline 2009 Lollapalooza, just like they did at Coachella in 2006. wait a sec… http://bit.ly/8P8YM #
• @ruthlesstravels I’d prefer Novocain at this point. in reply to ruthlesstravels #
• things I hate @ 5:30 am: chirping birds, no milk for coffee, wrinkled pants, going to work. #
• happy #flame won. pissed i have to work so early tomorrow. #
• @alexflint wooooooooooooooooooooooot in reply to alexflint #
• waiting for bacon cheeseburger. glad every bar he goes to in kensington has wifi. and the flames just scored. woot #
• @Jon_Favreau less Soloist, more SHIELDist. demand more from your super heroes. in reply to Jon_Favreau #
• beer&news We’re doing our part. How about you.: It’s not often that we here at beer&new.. http://tinyurl.com/czdacs #
• @alexflint got me curious, who serves pizza in a green box??? in reply to alexflint #
• @rpsfilm mission accomplished. in reply to rpsfilm #
• learned how to fight from edmonton bouncer. didn’t ask for lesson, but he paid for the drinks. and now he’s MIA. hopping he won’t jump me. #
• beer&news Review: Brew Brothers Black Pilsner: Beer&News doesn’t normally stray from the stra.. http://tinyurl.com/c6t6w8 #
• drinking beers on patio at molly malones when I would normally still be at work. Guess I found the silver lining of working the early shift. #
• @seenandsaid i don’t like heartland that much. they about 20 notes around the cash telling you all the things you can’t do while you wait. in reply to seenandsaid #
• thanks for the suggestions. I opted for accidentally falling asleep on the couch and going to Molly’s to write some beer&news updates. #
• @alexblonski good idea in reply to alexblonski #
• not used to getting off work this early. wondering what to do now. #
• @seenandsaid it’s true. I’ll have to try an be more consistent. and perhaps post more photos of lindsay lohan. in reply to seenandsaid #
• sniff. i didn’t get nominated for a Webby. Of course, the blog’s only been up for a few weeks. maybe next year http://www.webbyawards.com/ #
• back to work. have I mentioned that I hate the early shift? #
• beer&news Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-04-20:
  thinking about how much I don’t want to work th.. http://tinyurl.com/c388yt #

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I hear these guys are touring this summer and I just can’t wait

Man, the Jayhawks used to have a song on everyone’s summer playlist. We used to go up on the roof, put in “Tomorrow the Green Grass”  and jam all night. And this track below was one that every insecure boy put on a mix tape for the girl he liked the most. Heck, we sure did.

Anyhow, the two frontmen for the band are supposed to be re-united and touring the festivals this summer, so you can only hope they come to an open-air shit-kicker near you. Otherwise, here they are on Austin City Limits.

So long Bud the Spud. Thanks for the fries.

Beer&News was sad to learn that one of our favorite hometown icons is packing it in. Bud the Spud has been serving up delicious fresh cut french fries at the same downtown Halifax spot for more than 30 years, but he and his wife have decided to retire.

Just about everyone who ever called the place home has a fond memory of heading down to Spring Garden Rd. for a basket of chips and then chilling on a bench outside the library to enjoy the gourmet greasy goodness. Bud’s vinegar selection was beyond compare and at around $4.00 a pop for a big basket, it was one of the best food deals in town. 

But it’s Halifax’s hungover that will be affected the most. Talk about hangover-remover, just the thought of these fries was enough to take the edge off a hard night out on the town. And once you were done, you felt ready to kick it again and more often than not we ended up back across the street for pints at the Thirsty Duck.

It won’t be the same, but I guess Bud has earned his rest.

Sigh…

When the choice is booze or no booze, Canadian drinkers choose booze: StatsCan

Recent Statistics Canada data has revealed some interesting facts about the drinking habits of Canadians.

It turns out that Canadians who consume alcohol tend to buy beer, wine or hard liquor. Also, we bought more booze last year than we did the year before. And beer stills seem to be what we buy most, although not by quite as much as we used to.

Isn’t it great to have a federal agency that lets us know that we’re not drinking lighter fluid or nail polish remover to get a buzz (not enough of to register, anyway)? Or that our buying habits changed a bit, but not that much.

Satisfied taxpayer, signing off.

Killer Earth Day trivia

Today, as we pause to show our appreciation for the planet by pretending to be eco-concious shoppers and sustainability-minded exploiters, we here at Beer&News decided to look back at one of the co-founders of Earth Day.

Philadelphia’s Ira Einhorn is credited by many as being a co-founder of the original Earth Day movement after spending decades at the forefront of the environmental movement.

In fact, he loved the environment so much that in 1977 he murdered his girlfriend and blamed the CIA and FBI for trying to frame him. Crazy, right? Of course, he was sane enough at the time to try and conceal the crime by hiding the body in a trunk in his apartment

The crime was so terrible that homeboy even qualified for one of the spooky ’60s killer names like “Zodiac Killer” and “Son of Sam”. Dubbed “The Unicorn Killer,” Einhorn is now serving a life sentence in the state prison at Houtzdale in central Pennsylvania.

Of course modern hippies have distanced themselves from Einhorn and discounted his involvement with the event. After all, it’s not like he was the the Master of Ceremonies for the first Earth Day celebration back in 1970, which was televised around the world. Oh wait, he was.

Happy Earth Day, hippies!

We’re doing our part! How about you?

It’s not often that we here at beer&news find ourselves in the top 10 per cent of anything, but studies from the University of Victoria’s Centre for Addiction Research don’t lie. Right?

This would be reprehensible if we had family or plants to support and nurture. But we don’t, so we’re left to wonder what’s going on with the other 90 per cent. Granted, some are responsible, hard-working parents or brain surgeons or fire tower watchers. But there’s a swath of Canadians out there who aren’t pulling there weight.

Hop to, would ya?

Review: Brew Brothers Black Pilsner

Brew Brothers' Black Pilsner gets a thumbs up.

Beer&News doesn’t normally stray from the straight and narrow when it comes to beers. Sure, that sounds kind of boring, but life is too short to waste tasting some hippy brewer’s mocha-hemp-organic-coffee-porter. We’ve had enough of that shit, and there are many a bruised hippy across this land to prove it.

But every now and then, we feel charitable (or drunk) enough to try something new. Fortunately, test driving Brew Brothers’ Black Pilsner turned out to be a positive detour from the norm.

From across the bar, it looks like a Guiness. It’s as dark as a dentist’s heart with a mild white head, but that’s where the similarities end. Served cold, this guy’s got a medium pilsner taste and doesn’t feel near as heavy as its Irish doppelgänger. Not as sharp as a Steamwhistle, but enough character to get by on MAD TV.

What’s most surprising is that Brew Brothers is a Calgary beer. Until now it’s been Beer&News’ opinion that Calgary is shite when it comes to good breweries.

Like everything else in this town, most of the best stuff comes from somewhere else. Beer especially. But Brew Brothers have a good thing going with their Black Pilsner.

Too bad no one reading this outside of southern Alberta will ever know.

Next review, Keith’s White.

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-04-20

• thinking about how much I don’t want to work the early shift this week. sigh. #
• going to chien chaud for chicago style dog. hoping the rhythmically-challenged hippies next door are tuckered out by the time I get back #
• Chasing last call at the kpub. Hopin pizza place is still open. #
• heading to kensington #
• @ruthlesstravels gigantic cookie. good idea. peanut butter. in reply to ruthlesstravels #
• going to Lazy Loaf for a turkey cranberry sammie #
• already thinking about how shitty working the early shift is gonna be this week. #
• doesn’t know where these cookies came from. but i’m eating them #
• wishes so bad that Marvin Gaye was still with us http://tinyurl.com/hy8dn #
• watching old soul clips on youtube. ronettes, wilson pickett, sam cooke., van morisson chek it. you’ll love it. #
• Talking about covert cia ops in venezuella guatamala and so on. And canada #
• @ruthlesstravels it’s been a good ride. Vut time to say adieu #
• Surprisingly still sobberish after numerous pints at mollys and kpub #
• heading to kensington. k-pub, molly’s or OJs. #
• @seenandsaid I said I’d quit when smokes started costing more than a 6-pack. the time has come. in reply to seenandsaid #
• http://twitpic.com/3hafs – The funeral for iPod 30GB was attended by (from left) Hula Girl, Mini Hakeem Olajuwon, Galactic Starfighter, … #
• looking forward to whiskey, beer and, gasp, last pack of cigarettes ever? can the world handle an even more grumpy drewmac? find out monday. #
• @alexflint hey thanks for the FF rec. need to do wings again soon. cheers #
• @ruthlesstravels I’ve got a two boxes of “Falcon Beach: The Novel – A companion to the hit Global series” I’ll drop a few in the mail. in reply to ruthlesstravels #
• http://twitpic.com/3gwml – Spring Collection: New Hotness, Mark II #
• Rogers Millions on-air “cocksucker” slip http://tinyurl.com/cy96nq #
• http://twitpic.com/3gnp1 – Spring Collection: The New Hotness #
• @Rebelle1 tempted. but i think i’ll upgrade to either an iphone or ipod classic. in reply to Rebelle1 #
• beer&news Obituary: iPod 30GB (White):
  It is with great regret and sorrow that Beer&News announce.. http://tinyurl.com/dhqqo3 #
• disappointed that all the produce and dairy in my fridge expired a week early. fuckit, I’m eating the yogurt anyway. #
• @selina_jezebel but NOT nearly, I meant to say in reply to selina_jezebel #
• @selina_jezebel no, you’d still need a few people to run things, but nearly as many as a site that relied solely on original content in reply to selina_jezebel #
• @selina_jezebel for onlie: use automated content feeds and RSS to increase volume and frequency of content and reduce # of human updaters in reply to selina_jezebel #
• holy crap. why can’t they win when they need to win and not lose when they need to win? #
• @selina_jezebel i don’t know of any festivals. place is pretty tiny. jammed with tourists Jul-Aug. I’d go june or sept. in reply to selina_jezebel #
• @selina_jezebel for shizzle. and no party like luny lobster party. But seriously, it’s a blast out there as long as the weather’s warm. in reply to selina_jezebel #
• wishes he was on a patio having beer and watching the game instead of covering it online from his kitchen table. sigh… #
• wondering what big twitter news is going to drop tomorrow http://tinyurl.com/cme7dh #
• Lame Playoff Slogan No. 1: You can’t burn a Flame. GFG! #yyc #flames #
• @seenandsaid it’s classic… maybe tomorrow, I’ll want to settle down. until tomorrow, I’ll just keep producing online content. in reply to seenandsaid #
• @seenandsaid someday flanagan, someday. I’m like the littlest hobo of in reply to seenandsaid #
• @seenandsaid i knew I never should have left. they only share healthy snacks here. in reply to seenandsaid #
• RT @calgaryherald: Blog: Don Braid offers thoughts after spending day waiting for help in #Calgary ER #yyc #ableg http://tinyurl.com/cbdcen #
• RT @calgaryherald: Video: Click link at top of the page to watch CanSpell National Spelling Bee live from Ottawa http://tinyurl.com/dlqe65 #
• @Rebelle1 interesting. i see a day when google will be serving beer and adidas ads to most of my posts. in reply to Rebelle1 #
• shuffling Royal Wood and Cuff the Duke on the way to the office. #
• getting psyched for weakerthans, constantines, joel plasektt, atmosphere and jon rae fletcher. #
• Testing out twitterberry on my blackberry. #
• beer&news Hate to say it, but this Lindsay Lohan clip is actually kind of funny:
  Pretty ok. Personally.. http://tinyurl.com/d68jsb #
• RT @nychka: Free wifi is available at Molly Malones pub the pass is their phone no. #freecalgarywifi #yyc #
• @SKIBUMPF you really want to be on my list? keep it up. in reply to SKIBUMPF #
• beer&news Twitter Updates for 2009-04-15:
  RT @calgaryherald: Blog: New updates as Don Braid continues .. http://tinyurl.com/cvjw5z #
• @seenandsaid Crap. I really want to see Okkervil River too. But I’ll guarantee they won’t come anywhere near here. in reply to seenandsaid #
• RT @calgaryherald: Blog: New updates as Don Braid continues to wait for help in a #Calgary ER. #yyc http://tinyurl.com/bmuate #
• @alexflint don’t do it. stay put and go for the golden AK in reply to alexflint #
• @ruthlesstravels cellphones, like skating techniques, are not something you go and change w/o reflection. I’m an Olypc-caliber researcher. in reply to ruthlesstravels #
• RT @calgaryherald: Blog: Don Braid live blogs #Calgary emergency room “hell” while waiting to see a doctor #yyc http://tinyurl.com/bmuate #
• starting to come around on the iPhone. but will definitely wait for the 32GB model this summer. #
• @alexblonski first time I’ve ever been in the 10 percentile. mom will be proud http://tinyurl.com/d634m5 in reply to alexblonski #
• should have known better than to get the cafeteria’s garlic sausage and perogie special. i think the perogies are tainted #
• @thomasbink at least we have a ticket to the dance. and a coach. in reply to thomasbink #
• RT @calgaryherald: Edmonton Oilers let head coach Craig MacTavish go http://tinyurl.com/cput7e #
• taking advantage of adidas.com’s free shipping offer. #
• feeling sorry for @officechair #
• @Rebelle1 you did hit your head on the way to internet. i hope you feel better soon in reply to Rebelle1 #
• @seenandsaid i meant to, but a hangover conspired against me. how often have you heard that. sigh… in reply to seenandsaid #
• @seenandsaid he’s the best. i’m sorry i’m not going to be able to see him here. in reply to seenandsaid #
• @Rebelle1 my ice creams don’t see color. And Stan Smiths will always beat Chuck Taylors. Did you hit your head on the way to internets? in reply to Rebelle1 #
• RT @calgaryherald: Interactive: Review the works of Leonard Cohen http://www.calgaryherald.com/interactive/cohen/index.html #
• @somethingwitty you forgot hugh grant and colin firth ensemble casts in reply to somethingwitty #
• http://twitpic.com/3cqes – my ice creams bring all the girls to the yard #
• @Rebelle1 not to worry. It’s a spring-like 0 degrees here today. in reply to Rebelle1 #
• wearing his new ice creams today. hoping no bad people step on them. #
• going to be hungover in 8 hours. totally worth it. #
• pissing off two late 30 year old dudes who live together who were trying to decide who is the “joey” and who is the “chandler.” both lose #
• @Sloanmusic do it in reply to Sloanmusic #
• going for guiness and good times in kensington while I still can #
• beer&news Twitter Updates for 2009-04-14:
  bringing sexy back to the Supertore. It was broken, and I th.. http://tinyurl.com/ca2ucj #
• beer&news Twitter Updates for 2009-04-14:
  bringing sexy back to the Supertore. It was broken, and I th.. http://tinyurl.com/dmd9vt #
• bringing sexy back to the Supertore. It was broken, and I think a little stale by the time I got it home. Trading it in for some rootbeer. #
• at a going away doo, spoiling my appetite with delicious costco carrot cake. #
• beer&news Scientists say bacon sandwhiches help cure hangovers. Next they hope to prove connection betw.. http://tinyurl.com/dl68v6 #
• @yycblogs lol. the last thing i need is a new generation of smarter, faster web editors nipping at my heels in reply to yycblogs #
• just came really close to trying to convince a j-school student shadowing me that she’s best off pursuing a career in anything else. #
• ain’t no lunch in the heart of the city #
• @ruthlesstravels very funny. The “w” is lowecase these days. in reply to ruthlesstravels #
• @alexblonski yeah, and instead of calling them support requests, we’ll have to get used to calling them “drive thru orders” in reply to alexblonski #
• if you’re being media scrummed outside the Dirksen federal building in Chicago, chances are your ass is going to jail. Good luck Blago. #
• @Rebelle1 good for you. hope they’you know if you save up an extra paycheque you could afford a real pair of kicks, right? in reply to Rebelle1 #
• @ruthlesstravels @Rebelle1 i thought we were talking about the potential demise of my parent company. but I’m for ice cream chat too. #
• @Rebelle1 no, unfortunately there are a few outstanding allowance payments and the paper boy’s getting psssd too. in reply to Rebelle1 #
• @alexblonski what’s mcd’s. The Golden Arches? at least we’d get free big macs in reply to alexblonski #
• wondering if I’m going to have a new corporate mommy and daddy by the end of the day http://www.thestar.com/Business/article/617882 #
• wtf?! still awake. and not a drop of nyquil left in the house. should have gone for those beers. #
• can’t sleep. hoping portishead and massive attack vids will help fix that. #
• beer&news REVIEW: Anchor Steam Beer:
  I had heard a lot of good things about Anchor Steam and I’m.. http://tinyurl.com/d53u7b #
• beer&news Twitter Updates for 2009-04-13:
  Looking for 6-pack bets on flames advancing past the 1st rou.. http://tinyurl.com/dyerlp #
• Looking for 6-pack bets on flames advancing past the 1st round. I say they will. Any takers? #
• RT @calgaryherald: L.A. jury finds Phil Spector guilty of murder http://tinyurl.com/cstoua #
• @alexblonski I was going to blog something sarcastic about that beer+sports piece, but writer sits right next to me. wouldn’t be right… in reply to alexblonski #
• Has read about 60 different versions of this story. tired. nap time. http://tinyurl.com/c97cp4 #
• @alexblonski we lost our bullet-proof vests due to cut backs. caf here still appears to have a ninja star budget. in reply to alexblonski #
• pretty sure cafeteria is trying to kill me. #
• flying too close to the sun with wings made of shoddy HTML. frick. got to start over. frack. #
• wondering if this is the week that I start breaking in my new ice creams. #
• taking the long way to work to fit in some extra Sloan. #

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