Red Stripe in a can is as pointless as it is unremarkable

Red Stripe in tallboy format is new to me, so I picked up a few tins for a recent toffee pull with my scrapbook club.

Total mistake. I haven’t been this disappointed since the bedroom scene in The Bridges of Madison County.

It’s so flavourless, I had to look at the label to remind myself that it’s beer. And talk about marketing blunders – Red Stripe’s traditional stubby bottle was the only thing giving this beer curb-appeal outside of the Caribbean. Trying to solve your quality conundrum by offering a greater quantity is like a buy-one-get-one-free sale at a used jock strap outlet.

True, drinking Red Stripe is one of the most popular things to do on the beach in Jamaica. But, so is getting a beads braided into your hair.

Granted, I’ve never been to Jamaica. But I don’t need to test the wares at a kick-in-the-dick factory to know I don’t want to go there, either.

No Red Stripe, no cry.