Scientists say bacon sandwhiches help cure hangovers. Next they hope to prove connection between gravity and faceplants.

Scientists at Newcastle University’s Centre for Life believe they have isolated a connection between greasy bacon sandwhiches and hangovers going away. You see, the carbs from the bread provide energy that speeds up motabolism and the bacon provides protein – two key things that are required to recover from the effects of binge drinking.

This is nothing that a marathon runner couldn’t have already told you, but I guess grad students have to keep busy with something.

Joking aside, their research does clear up one urban myth that eating a slice of pizza helps sober you up and speed through the hangover process by “soaking up the booze.” I’ve always known this was bullshit based on my own extensive research. Whether it’s in liquid form or some sort of food sponge, the booze is still in your system and will continue to fuck with your shit until nature takes its often painful course.

I normally forego the bacon sandwhich, however, and take two Advil gel caps and a pint of water which renders me comfortably numb while my body sorts its shit out.

Next on the list for Newcastle scientificators: Conducting a study on the suggestion that the interwebs are an excellent source of porn.